


tolerate it

by shcrlockholmcs



Category: Naruto
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fic based on Song, M/M, Pining, Sad Naruto, Song Fic Kinda?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shcrlockholmcs/pseuds/shcrlockholmcs
Summary: "While you were out building other worlds, where was I?Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?I made you my temple, my mural, my skyNow I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life."orNaruto's perspective while pining over Sasuke and their first conversation once Sasuke finally comes home.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	tolerate it

Naruto was used to Sasuke only tolerating him. 

His entire relationship with Sasuke was characterized by reaching out only to find Sasuke’s back was to him.

He remembered back when they were just genin all the times Sakura would catch him staring at Sasuke as he was reading. It always felt like he was playing catch up—except that he never caught up. Always five steps behind--sometimes more. 

It was embarrassing, and he didn’t even fully understand it himself, this constant pull he had towards the dark haired boy. The hyperfocus had just felt natural—it started when they were very young kids. But it had never felt mutual. 

Naruto knew that he was the one sitting and watching everything Sasuke did. And he was painfully aware that Sasuke couldn't care less about him. It was just one of the many things Naruto was painfully aware of when it came to Sasuke.

Sasuke was wiser, stronger, faster—he shone like the moon high in the sky and Naruto was barely a small flickering star, far off and practically invisible. 

Sometimes, for reasons Naruto still didn’t understand, he and Sasuke would stargaze on top of one of the highest hills in Konoha. They never verbally discussed it—it was never planned—and yet the other one knew to show up. It was almost always Sasuke who showed up last. They would lay there—in silence. 

When Sasuke would let his guard down enough to close his eyes, Naruto found himself helplessly staring. 

Shikamaru would make fun of him and the way he waited for Sasuke like a puppy dog outside the training grounds. And if he felt a hot blush on his cheeks every time Shika brought it up—that was not something he was ready to acknowledge to himself. 

He went above and beyond for Sasuke. And Naruto managed to delude himself into thinking it was to ‘prove himself’ to Sasuke—to prove that he was worthy. 

When Kakashi asked him about his incessant need to go out of his way for Sasuke, Naruto went on the defensive. 

“The bastard refuses to pay attention to me! If I can do enough, then maybe he’ll realize I’m actually worth something!” 

Kakashi laughed. They both knew the specifics of what Naruto wanted to be worthy of were going to remain unspoken. Why bother saying it out loud anyway? Sasuke barely managed to tolerate Naruto’s existence. 

It took years to bring Sasuke back to Konoha—back from the darkness that had consumed him—and despite everything Naruto refused to hold it against him. Instead Naruto threw a one man parade in Sasuke’s honor. He was delighted to have Sasuke home and if that meant he was blind to the Uchiha’s indiscretions, then that was something for someone else to worry about.

Shikamaru made fun of him for that, too. And made sure to scold him for being so willfully ignorant. 

But it wasn’t ignorance—it was something purer. A hope. A wish. That maybe the brokenness between them was all in Naruto’s head. And that maybe if Naruto welcomed him home with open arms then Sasuke would tell him it was okay.

Maybe they could celebrate together. Maybe the days of mere toleration were over. 

One night, not long after their final fight and Sasuke’s return home, they met again on that hill. An hour passed before Naruto decided he could not keep it in anymore. He had to let it out.

“You know Sasuke, you just ran off to deal with things on your own and didn’t fucking bother to ask for help. You didn’t even think to include me—that I would want to help,” he started. 

“It was mine to deal with. I didn’t _want_ anyone else involved,” was the cold reply. 

Naruto stiffened. 

“Sasuke—you had to know. You _have_ to know. I did everything for you—I still would—I always will. And you were the only one who understood me—understands me. I’ve always been here, just asking for even a second glance. Even a chance to help you--be part of your life, even if it were just a small part. But all you do is make me feel like I’m in the way, like I take up space you would rather have empty,” Naruto shouted. A lifetime of pain had boiled over and there was no keeping it in. 

When Sasuke kept silent, refusing to look at Naruto, the blonde kept going. 

“You assume I’m fine. Or maybe you don’t, and if you don’t, then you’re a bigger bastard than I took you for! You’re always the one running away, but what would you do if I ran away this time?”

Finally Sasuke looked over, daring to stare right into those sparkling blue eyes that were brimming over with emotion. And the eye contact made Naruto’s heart drop. The stare in of itself was a challenge—a nonverbal ‘you wouldn’t dare.’ 

“I just got you back, but what if I was the one who decided to lose you this time?”

“You couldn’t.”

“I could! But if I’ve got something wrong, now’s your chance Sasuke. Tell me.”

The silence was debilitating. But somehow, they fell back into the companionable quietness between them. They looked ahead, the entirety of Konoha beneath them and their hill. It was another night of being tolerated—or so it felt—Naruto was not sure anymore. 

He knew he deserved the celebration that he gave Sasuke. He knew that. 

“Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow,” Naruto whispered and got no response. 

But Sasuke was never one for words. Maybe he did have it wrong.

Naruto spent the rest of the night sitting at Sasuke’s side, watching him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is a really simple, short fic that popped into my mind the second I heard this song. It just fit with SasuNaru / NaruSasu so perfectly in my mind. I did my best to have the plot follow the lyrics of the song without explicitly being a 'song fic.' 
> 
> The ending is left open...it can be happy or it can be sad, if you want it to be. I will let you decide what happens next. ;)
> 
> Expect more SasuNaru / NaruSasu fics from me soon.


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